Fruitless One-Sided Love

So when was the last time I posted? OH, right before I spent another 12hrs studying chemistry...seriously. It woulda been 13 hrs had we not taken a break to go get free pancakes down at the nest. So after staying up til 2:30 am just about every night this week studying for finals, I caused a sore throat. Meh. Need to sleep more to recover, but cannot get myself to sleep more than 8 hrs at a time. Just not used to so much sleep! haha, kinda funny.
So the Bio test was ok...slopped answers down for the evolution essay questions becuase I did not study enough for them. Irk.
Wasn't happy about OT. I literally GUESSED at every answer on the exam because I did not know there was a 3rd page of the study guide, and didn't study any of it until 2 hrs before bed. Yeah...final grades come in at unprofessionally random times. Basically whenever the prof decides to grade everything. LOL.
Happy to go see Narnia tomorrow!

Haha, I am changing the subject alot, but I was just watching animae and got me to thinking about things. (Fruits Basket episode 18 in case you are wondering).

Is one-sided love very bad? Defined as in being so clingly to someone that you do not care about their feelings or what they want to do, who they care to hang out with, and such like that? Because if you are being so in love with someone that you want to spend every minute possible with them and protect them, it cannot be a very healthy relationship.

I often think I am like that. I crave friendship so much that I cling to those people who actually DO want to hang out with me. I shall text them and email/chat with them incessantly...and then I think they get annoyed with me beign so pestery. I laugh it off with a joke, saying that I am being "stalkerish." But really, I just want them to want to hang out with me. I think I have severe attachment issues of being insecure.
How can that be fixed?
A lot of prayer me thinks. I have not been in love with my Lord at all deep enough.
What about one-sided love with God?! Cause if He is always wanting to hang out with us and constantly trying to get our attention, do we not get annoyed? Do we have a reason to get annoyed? Not really. He is our savior and creator after all. But we just want to have fun sometimes with other friends besides Jesus. That is so wrong!

You cannot make someone love you, and sometimes you just have to back off and wait. Perhaps that is the reason that I feel so dead in feelings? Meaning that I don't feel like God is with me. I know He is there, and I am not like, depressed or anything. Just...IDK...neutral? Like a neutron in the nucleus. Sitting there being dead weight. Not doing much. Not even helping the atom by having a charge and causing others to be attracted to me to be friends!

I am probably not making any sense. I am just trying to relate how we are so obstinate sometimes agaisnt seeking God ourselves, and maybe that is why He backs off from always being "in our face" with revealing amazing insight from the Bible and life to us. Maybe He is testing to see if we WANT to spend time with Him? Maybe He wants us to seek Him, letting Him know we WANT to be with Him! Otherwise if all we do is go to church and Bible studies, not having prayer or reading or silent time with God on our own, the relationship is very one-sided. We want and take, but never give back. God tries to get our attention and hang out with us, and we reject Him. That is so super sad. I wanna change that in my life.

God, it is time we have a chat. :) I know you have been waiting for this for awhile. . .

I encourage you my friends to not forget to seek after God this Christmas break and after. Remember to have a relationship with God that is two way! Both talking and listening. :)

Psalm 32:10
Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him.

John 16:27
No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.

1 Corinthians 8:3
But whoever loves God is known by God.

2 Corinthians 9:7
Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Psalm 69:32
The poor will see and be glad— you who seek God, may your hearts live!

Psalm 122:9
For the sake of the house of the LORD our God, I will seek your prosperity.

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

How amazingly great is His reward of love when we seek Him!!! I want my heart to live only seeking God's love. I don't wanna change the world through pointless deeds if I shall not be seeking my Lord. That is fruitless...

Ephesians 5:11
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

Seek God my friends, don't depend on Him seeking you. It will continue to be done, but it shall not be half as fufilling a relationship as if you seek Him back. <3

Deuteronomy 4:29
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.

1 Chronicles 22:19
Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the LORD your God.