I DON'T UNDERSTAND ENTHALPY!!!

This has not been a very happy day.

DISCLAIMER - please do not read further if you get grossed out. Not my fault. (only half joking)

Started out with a frusterating time in bio lab because I couldn't find the required organs in my fetal pig, it was to underdeveloped. HINT: always grab a LARGE pig. Then I wanted to look at its brain, but my lab partners thought me sick to wanna try and get it out. So I went over to my roomie's table and took a peek at her job. It was super cool! They got an eyeball out of theirs to look at too. Not a ton of detail to see since it is so small, but it was neat. Anyhows, I went to breakfast and could not eat the bacon. I don't normally get squeamish, but that was just too much right afterwords. Made me feel sick.

K, You can resume reading my words of  depression now...
 
So I went back to the room and did homework. Braved the cold to have lunch with my speech buddies, only a girl wanted to sit with us, and I didn't wanna be rude and say no to her, so that kinda was disapointing cause we couldn't have our little chat time. :| But it is better to ruin your day than someone else's.

So then I did more homework, and got very frustrated with chemistry. My tutor couldn't even figure it out for the longest time, and when she did, I still didn't get it. After a long long time of her trying to explain it to me multiple ways I broke down and cried from frustration. Felt really bad because she is such an awesome person for helping me so much, and I was being so stupid and a cry-baby. Groan. I just wanna get this over with. NO WAIT. I don't.

So I went to bio study session tonight and cried more on the cold walk back. But not because my ears were freezing off. Because I didn't know a clue of what was being talked about! Review of the first test didn't help...I got more questions wrong this time around than the first time. And I failed the first time. Sigh. I just wanna quit right now. I cannot do this!! I have to re-learn everything and then some to be ready for Chem and Bio finals, not to mention OT.

I have been working on catch-up reading for OT all day because I am just so fed-up with bio and chem. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!! I am quitting college and becoming a hermit. No, seriously, I haven't a job yet, and no scholarships for next semester (since I haven't taken the time to apply!!!) so I can't come back. I can't. Fail. Fail. Fail.

:'(

It is so so so hard to remember that no matter what your grades are, God still loves you and has a plan for you. Yet, how can he fulfill his plan if I fail school?!
I am going to go cry now, ok?
ok.
Night......you may not hear from me again.

.................................................................................................................................................
Verse of the day didn't help much either. How can I live a godly life? All that I have been reading in the Bible is not being comprehended by my brain or life or actions or anything. This is just not not good....

“But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives” - 2 Peter 3:10-11