Hello Ontario

I am having issues with something. That something is family.
I am home for fall break! Only Monday and Tuesday off, but it is well worth it for catching up. Though I have gotten basically nothing done because of talking to my family, catching up on life, and shopping and such...Sigh... Did you know that colleges decided to have a fall break because too many young adults were committing suicide from the overload of stress? Its true.

It is good to be able to see all my family again. On the one hand, they haven't changed much since I left two months ago. Still act the same, make the same jokes, talk in weird cartoon voices, etc.
On the other hand, I got a phone call a couple weeks ago letting me know the updates of home. Apparently my mom has become a texter, dad was a cave-man hick for awhile (he grew a beard!!) and Ted, my bro, is now a skateboarder/videogamer/typical teenage boy.
Ted, Ted, my buddy Ted!! How I have missed my little brother. He has grown spiritually SO much! He enjoys going to church and participates in youth group with vigor. I am proud him. We would always hang out all summer long, and have been the best of friends out of any of my siblings...it makes me want to cry seeing him grow up!! Slowly he is becoming the man God has planned for him to be.  :')

I feel bad for not wanting to come home more often though. It is just as stressful at home as at school...just in different ways. Financial issues are causing a tight budget and tensions to rise between Mom and Dad. The whole bankruptcy thing and bank coming after our house doesn't help much either. It is hard to remember to pray for my family and home issues when I am away. I mean, they are on my list, but when I am away removed from the tensions I just want to forget about them. Cause it makes me want to cry.

Yes, it has been a very depressing day as you might be able to tell. I love my family very much, and feel so guilty for wanting to stay at school during the weekend. I CAN get more work gone there though. I just shut the door to my room and no one bothers me...mostly. Here at home-home my family is soooo distracting, noisy, and yes, sometimes rude. Haha! BUT I LOVE them SO much!!!

I love the liberty living along brings me. I don't make any different decisions than I did when living at home. It just feels as if somehow I have more independence...Like I can choose to do bad things if I want! Haha, that is a power we always had though. I don't know...I like to ramble a lot if you cannot tell...haha

I am going to have to spend a lot more time in prayer about this. I don't know. I just feel like I am betraying my family and not loving them like I should when I DON'T want to come home! It is fun at school, I admit. Friends, freedom...even learning is fun! I want to stay there and be involved in everything I can, although the majority of the time IS spent studying...Sigh... If find yourself reading this, would you say a prayer for my family? We need peace. We need to get along. And we most importantly need to learn to spend our time loving on others and our God more than worrying about money problems.