The Lesson of the Seed

I would like to share a passage from a book written by Elizabeth Elliot titled, "Passion vs. Purity." If you ever get a chance to read it, whether you are in a relationship or not, it is well worth your while. Gave me a lot to ponder upon when I question whether to encourage a man to pursue you and how to do so in a godly manner. This is more of a general life-lesson devotional. Read this...

     "The growth of all living green things wonderfully represents the process of receiving and relinquishing, gaining and losing, living and dying. The seed falls into the ground, dies as the new shoot springs up. There must be a splitting and a breaking in order for a bud to form. The bud "lets go" when the flower forms. The calyx lets go of the flower. The petals must curl up and die in order for the fruit to form. The fruit falls, spits, relinquishes the seed. The seed falls into the ground. There is no ongoing spiritual life without this process of letting go. At the precise point where we refuse, growth stops. If we hold tightly to anything given to us, unwilling to let it go when the time comes to let it go or unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used, we stunt the growth of the soul. 
     It is easy to make a mistake here. 'If God gave it to me,' we say, 'it is mine. I can do what I want with it.' No. The truth is that it is ours to thank Him for and ours to offer back to Him, ours to relinquish, ours to lose, ours to let go of--if we want to find our true selves, if we want real Life, if our hearts are set on glory. 
Think of the self that God has given as an acorn. It is a marvelous little thing, a perfect shape, perfectly designed for its purpose, perfectly functional. Think of the grand glory of an oak tree. God's intention when He made the acorn was the oak tree. His intention for us is '...the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.' Many deaths must go into our reaching that measure, many letting-goes. When you look at the oak tree, you don't feel that the 'loss' of the acorn is a very great loss. The more you perceive God's purpose in your life, the less terrible will the losses seem...There must be relinquishment. There is no way around it. The seed does not "know" what will happen. It only knows what is happening--the falling, the darkness, the dying...We [are] being asked to trust, to leave the planning to God. 
     God's ultimate plan [is] as far beyond our imaginings as the oak tree is from the acorn's imaginings. The acorn does what it was made to do, without pestering its Maker with questions about when and how and why. We who have been given an intelligence and a will and a whole range of wants that can be set against the divine Pattern for Good are asked to believe Him. We are given the chance to trust Him when He says to us, '...If any man will let himself be lost for my sake, he will find his true self.'


When will we find it? we ask. The answer is, Trust me. 
How will we find it? The answer again is, Trust me. 
Why must I let myself be lost? we persist. The answer is, Look at the acorn and trust Me."

A Strong Hand to Hold in Uncertainty

I had ideas for a really awesome post related to my past week running and hiding from zombies. YES it was another week of the infamous game HVZ. With sword in hand, shield at the ready and eyes darting on the back of my head I took off at 6:30am Monday morning and didn't stop running from 'em since! Ha, exactly a week later as I walked to breakfast I snapped my head back automatically at the first sound of foot steps before chiding myself for being so paranoid, taking a deep breath and reminding myself life is back to its "normal" pace. Might I throw in the fact that HUMANS WON!!!!!! for the first time EVAAAAAAA!!!!!!! I was pretty much on cloud nine. It was great fun. The week was much faster this year. First couple nights uneventful with lots of strife at the missions due to the general and her gang. The last three nights were much fun though and I ignored all the jabber and just played along. What a great group of nerds we have here! I may be so bold as to gloat that I made it once again to the final stand, used my first antidote ever on Friday night when everyone else but Fun-Sized Lone-Runner got bit, and once again successfully avoided Chris of whom rumor says placed me #3 on his his hit list while fulfilling the first two infections within the first night of the game.

As to not bore those whom have no idea what I am talking about right now, let us suffice to say it was a pleasantly timed game of which was delightful to participate in after such a stressful long week beforehand planning my research presentation with my partner. Sad to say I shall not be working with him again next year. He was quite hilarious and made for some good times. However this summer shall hopefully prove whether I am set out for research in life or not! In the respect of biology and bugs that is. . . To be very honest after yesterday at the LO meeting I started remembering how very nervous I am for my internship. Not only the macroinvertebrate identification, bees especially, but also just the atmosphere of working with people who are typically atheists and die-hard scientists. Those minds are hard to be around all day when you are a person like me who unknowingly compares herself to them and then becomes depressed from lack of smarts.

Lord Jesus, how I shall desperately need you! I won't have this awesome support of Christian College anymore, won't have my awesome boss-man to listen to my rantings and offer advice, Lord I shall need you more than ever. Are you truly a "crutch" to get through life? I should dearly hope I can offer something more to you than dead weight on your strong pole! How desperately I want to be used by you this summer Lord. That is why I am so very very nervous about what is to come. Thank you for David and how he prayed for me yesterday afternoon at the meeting. It is always a reminder that YOU are the one that works in them Lord! I do believe you shall get to them no matter what I say or do. Its you who changes their heart. However, I do not want to get in the way. My background music needs to aid your work and not cause a beating heart arrhythmia! May I be sycronized with your pacemaker. Burn out all atopic firing - whether they be goals, thoughts, words, anything. No more. I don't want to get in the way. They played this song in chapel today...it stuck with me all day. A good one it is. Take the lyrics and listen.




Ha, cannot help but think his symbol looks like a distal convoluted tubule that has receptors for aldosterone to promote retention of salts and water. I enjoy being a dork but sometimes its just plain exhausting. I honestly do not know what is up but I just feel drained. I need you Jesus! If myocardial cells could have tear ducts mine would be filled and dripping now.

Just like I held the hand of my friend today in the cold lake to keep him afloat (the dude sinks like the large rock he found!) may you please hold my hand and not let go Lord! I am so unsure as to the next steps in life...both here at college and at home and just in my mind which by the way, has been tormenting me with rather perturbing thoughts lately. Don't worry, nothing immoral, just issues in life that scare me and I try to avoid...yet they keep coming up again and again like my mind is trying to rid itself of a piece of shrapnel itching its way through!
*shaky breath*
*prayer*
I now venture to help Kitty with her inflatable project of which currently reminds me of an old game at Chuck-e-Cheese involving paper money and a lot of wind.
God is always with you my friends. Read the book "passion vs. purity" if you haven't. Somehow it is calming to my nerves and takes my mind off my own life. Missionary biographies are next in line. Just don't focus on yourself so much...quiet your soul, listen to others, focus on what is at hand. Then look constantly upward! Onward Soldiers. March in the war. Sword in one hand, but the other arm has just a shield...leaving fingers free to grasp. Now decide what they will be filled with. . .